you only have a few more days to apply. i think the stupid snoring machine should audition as the SUPER STUPID SNORING MACHINE who can tumble tall buildings and keep the world’s population awake FOREVER with a single snore!
i travel. it’s what i do. because i sure as hell don’t have a good answer for “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
usually, i’m pretty excited to embark upon a new adventure. but this trip is different. i go to new york tomorrow, then paris on saturday. yes, yes, sure - PARIS!! right?!?! i know. but i’m kind of bummed to not be taking the stupid snoring machine with me. i know, i know - i’ll probably get some sleep for once… but i really would love to have company on this trip and be able to share all my old haunts.
josh was going to come. jannone even considered it. yunmi was supposed to come but she bailed. TYPICAL! (i still love you, girl.)
so, in order to spoil brad before i left and to really (hopefully) make him miss me, i did the DISHES! twice! in one day!! shut up, i think i’m about to pass out. menial labor, ugh. brad, i hope you’re happy when my crusty dish pan hands chafe you the next time i touch you.
also, i cooked him a delicious meal. i made him go to the market and asked him to buy asparagus and pork chops. he totally wasn’t on board with the pork chops and we had to have a lengthy discussion about fat content and pork is the other white meat and blah blah blah. finally, i think he gave up and just decided to shut me up by doing it my way.
i hadn’t intended to make anything special or out of the ordinary (hence the pork chops) but had a stroke of genius when i started the prep work. i salted and peppered the meat and fried it in the pan which i was serving with brown rice and asparagus. kind of boring, right?! so i took 2 tblsp butter, 1/4 honey and a little cinnamon and fried it up in a separate pan to which i added 2 pealed and chopped fuji apples, a few handfulls of pistacios, walnuts, peanuts and cashews and a couple of orange rinds which i cooked long enough for the apples and nuts to soften just a bit. then i mixed the sweet sauce into the rice and steamed asparagus and laid the chops on top.
i’ve never eaten this or tried cooking this before and to my delight, it was delicious.
you’d better miss me brad! have fun snoring away without annoying anyone!
since being introduced to facebook, the stupid snoring machine has become OBSESSED. he used to make fun of my sitting in front of the computer for hours on end and now he only has himself to laugh at. also, we’ve now been together for five and a half years of bliss so naturally, we have run out of things to talk about (if you don’t count when he thinks out loud, which i just love.) this is how you’ll find us on any given evening…
brad finally saw her for the first time.
he was more impressed with the NEW little mermaid
breakfast in bed isn’t that exciting since i started macrobiotics 2 months ago. for those of you not familiar with macrobiotics, i like to explain it as “vegan with a vengeance.” everything has to be organic and locally grown - you know, like nature intended before the existence of railroads and ships and what not to bring you yumminess from all four corners of the world whether it’s in season or not.
the stupid snoring machine still eats all the meat and dairy he wants but he brings me organic oatmeal with fresh berries every morning before we hit the gym. aw…
thanks brad
yummy scrambled eggs on toast with avocado & grapes (on the side.)
my sister, pauline, and her aussie boyfriend, damien, flew in last night after flight delays, ruined luggage (his) and lost luggage (hers.) ivy, allen and grant came over to welcome them and grant made his famous larry & curly jitos to ensure a good NPT was had by all. we then made our way to jumbo’s and can you believe that this titty bar is fresh out of titties?! no joke. it’s just girls writhing away in their bikinis - WTF mate?!
there was one girl, iris, who actually worker her acrobatics on the pole and GOD DAMN she was good. if you’re in the LA area, go cheer her on at the pole dancing competition here on the 11th - we will be unable to show our support as we will be in San Diego.
i have not been to jumbo’s in 4 years - since ixel’s going away party which coincidentally was the last time i saw grant. (and ps - i’m pretty sure he was wearing the exact same outfit that night, if it matters, which elicited many ooooo’s and ahhh’s because, and i quote, damn he is ripped for a 64 year old! also, his new nickname is stripper tipper - thanks ivy.)
we walked home, brad decided he needed to walk ivy to her car but as he could barely walk, stripper tipper did the honors. we got home and pauline, damien and i polished off the remainder of the larry curly jitos while the stupid snoring machine did what he does best in bed. damien and pauline then thought it’d be fun to try on some wigs and have a photo shoot…
Find more photos like this on Blog 365
don’t get drunk and pass out. that’s all i’m saying.
(ps baby, i love you. don’t hate. just don’t let us kick you when you’re down next time.)
i have had my dining room furniture for 8 years. it was purchased new/unfinished and it was always my intention to sand and stain it but i couldn’t decide on the color and i never had any time. finally, last week, i found myself at home depot for what turned into a few hours of shopping waiting around. so i obviously had enough time for what seemed like a semester long seminar in staining. i got blow-by-blow instructions from a man in the paint department named clair. since i know my blog caters to those do-it-yourselfers out there, here’s the recipe for good staining!
1. go to google dot com
2. look up “local handyman/carpenter/artisan english not necessary”
3. call the suggested names and negotiate price
4. watch the man at work as you sip iced-tea and eat bon bons in front of your favorite daytime drama
5. give him an extra tip if he takes his shirt off (unless he’s nasty, then make sure you’re not home alone)
hahaha… no really…
1. go to a real do-it-yourself blog and learn the secret insider tips
2. go to the hardware store and get secret insider tips from an expert - know size of furniture and type of wood
3. block off 3 days in your schedule and don’t plan on going anywhere, eating anything, sleeping - you will not have time.
4. sand the bejesus out of the wood with course sandpaper, then medium fine paper, then fine, then super fine.
5. once your fingers start to fall off, enlist your boyfriend to “help”
6. when done sanding, dust all other surfaces in the room, use tack cloth on the furniture to pick up stubborn sawdust, vacuum the room, use more tack cloth to go over the furniture again, and then cover all surfaces of the furniture with wood conditioner using a lint free cloth.
7. no less than 15 minutes/no more than 2 hours later, begin staining with your desired color. oil based stains work the best. use an expensive paintbrush. if you wait longer than 2 hours to start staining, you will have to go over all of the furniture again with the wood conditioner or the stain won’t absorb properly.
8. if your stain comes out a super duper light version of what you thought it should be even though you’ve already gone through one can of stain and applied 3 coats to the furniture over a span of 2 long ass days, it’s because you forgot to SHAKE. THE. CAN. OF. STAIN. idiot.
9. don’t invite guests over when you think you’ll be done. wait until you have confirmed that the stain has dried or you will be serving your guests food on the floor ghetto picnic style.
10. don’t forget to apply a coat of 2 of clear sealant when you are finished staining, otherwise the first spill on your new table will cause you to have to start ALL OVER.
you’re welcome.
don’t be like me. please. whatever you do, DON’T. BE. LIKE. ME.
while we were sanding with the course paper, i wore just a mask but once we got to the fine paper, i needed goggles as well. since i didn’t have the foresight to buy safety goggles, i wore the stupid snoring machine’s swim goggles. they fogged up with every masked breath i took and i could hardly see. also, from my side of the table with just my eyes peaking over, i felt like a character out of shark tale.
i thought i was being funny - brad disagreed.
see… i’m a shark!
brad was injured. then instead of complaining about his bleeding, he complained about the fact that i’ve hidden all the band-aids - the band-aids that have been in the exact same spot for the last 8 years that i’ve lived in this apartment. he complained that i keep switching everything around on him to deliberately confuse him. then, when he whined that i need to move the band-aids into a more “accessible” location, i told him that since i am the person that he goes to whenever he needs anything because i’m the one who remembers where everything is, i will not change where we keep the band-aids. besides, even if i moved them to where he wanted, where they’d be directly in his line of vision (instead of in a first aid kit on the edge of a shelf that is about waist high) he’d surely forget where they are anyway the next time he needs them and would undoubtedly yell “hey! where are all the band-aids? did you hide them from me again?!”
men.
in retaliation, i made him wear a pink one.
and then we were finally done!
not too shabby!
