NEWLOVE

i thought i’d do the environment a favor and take the subway downtown yesterday so i could show up at the courthouse and figure out what i needed to do about this erroneous ticket i received 2 months ago. my court date is today and according to the wording on the ticket, i was supposed to come on or before my court date if i wanted to contest the citation. so i hoofed it in the heat to my local subway station thinking i was going to the court where i served jury duty a few months back. i didn’t really look it up before i left because i’m pretty good with directions and figured it wouldn’t be too hard.

i got to the station and realized although i pretty much knew where i was going, i should probably look at a map so i knew which stop would be the closest to my destination since i don’t know our subway system at all. the map at hollywood and western is only of the the 4 surrounding blocks although they do provide you with a drawing of the subway map on a white background naming the stops. not so helpful, as you can see:

it seemed to me that 7th st/Metro center would be a good choice since it seemed so central and the courthouse is across from the walt disney concert hall. WRONG. when i got out at 7th, i had the good sense to look at a map and could not find the concert hall. so i waited another 10 minutes for the next train and took it to pershing square. on the 4 block radius map there, i noticed that the court was 4 blocks away and actually across from the civic center/tom bradley stop. whatever, i’m not lazy, i thought - the walk would do me good.

i finally climb the stairs outside the stanley mosk courthouse before it dawns on me as i see the address printed on the front door (111 n. hill street) that i really need to be at the metro court (1945 s. hill street.)

great.

so i inquire with the security guards who let me know there are no trains to that court but that i could take bus 2 or bus 4 and then transfer and then blah blah blah. they lost me at bus. i mean, this is the first time taking the LA subway alone, i’m not about to try their bus system in the same day as well - especially since i’ve been seeing the crazies getting on and off the bus. i’m such a snob, i know.

so i walked for AN HOUR - no biggie since i wasn’t in a huge hurry but the neighborhood started getting seedy and i started getting nervous. then i started seeing an overwhelming amount of crack heads and weirdos and realized that up ahead in the distance i could see the 10 freeway. THE 10 FREEWAY PEOPLE! i’d walked basically from the 101 to the 10. great. and by the looks of it, i could tell i had to pass under the 10 and a few more blocks before i’d reach my destination. ugh. and keep in mind, it’s not like i was trekking to mecca or someplace where they were giving away free manolo blahniks or anything.

when i got to the courthouse, i had to stand in a long line to get through security and when it was my turn to put my purse through the x-ray and go through the magnetometer, they stopped me. i was quite the site - SUPER DUPER sweaty, hair disheveled, subway grime on me and filth from passing under the 10 and through crack alley. i probably even looked a little strung out from my contact high and i wasn’t happy about it either. they pretty much had me profiled as a terrorist since it looked like i was smuggling cantaloupes in my shirt and a cannister explosive in my bag. “ma’am, we’re going to have to look through your bag.” well obviously you are, you’ve stopped the x-ray conveyor belt and everyone is staring at me because i’m sweaty, disheveled and now i’m holding up the line as well. “sure,” i respond casually trying to assure them of the fact that i’m not really a terrorist but that they probably shouldn’t mess with me JUST IN CASE. all the security people started looking around at each other as if to say, “i’m not opening it, YOU open it.” “no YOU open it, i got mouths to feed.” finally, the poor lass who most likely has the least seniority and the least responsibility gingerly lips the flap of my messenger bag with a sigh of relief when she sees my big ass camera lens and realizes that NO ONE’S GOING TO DIE HERE TODAY PEOPLE. SHOW’S OVER.

after some discussion about not being allowed to take pictures in the court room, i convince them that i’m just trying to stand in some line somewhere to talk to someone about something i didn’t do and could they please point me in the right direction. i was let off without a strip search and stood in a line to rival russian bread lines pre-perestroika on new year’s eve.

after i got through 2 chapters of my book, it was my turn. FINALLY. i start feeling somewhat excited that the bullshit is finally over (although really, it was only about to begin) when i started a healthy trot towards the open window. wait, what was that?! who? what? wait! this dude came out of nowhere, hadn’t even been standing in line, and was cutting me off! no joke! OUT OF NOWHERE!! well, i was not about to let this man strong arm me so i sped up a little. i mean, i wasn’t about to hurtle over him or throw a body block on him but he needed TO KNOW that it was MY TURN so BACK OFF!! so i *accidentally* stepped on the heal of his shoe as he tried to nose in on MY window. he didn’t even turn around and just started talking to the clerk. “hi. she (gesturing toward the crazy terrorist lady behind him - me) was here first but i just have a quick question.” 30 seconds later he backed the fuck off. YEAH, I SURE SHOWED HIM!

i got to the window and the gist of what she told me was that my ticket wasn’t in the system and therefore she couldn’t help me but i could try back tomorrow. are you freaking kidding me? do you know this has turned into a five mile trek!? defeated, i left the courthouse and actually contemplated taking a bus before i realized the 2 and 4 and what not only go south on hill and it’s a whole other story to go north. oh well, no crazies on the bus for me.

so i walked all the way back up to pershing square through trash and crackheads and under the ten and forever flashed by oh so slowly.

here’s a portion of the map of my route. i left the station at hill and 7th, walked all the way up to hill and 2nd, before turning around and going down to 1945 s. hill and back. 5 miles. no joke. i mean, like i said, i can use the exercise and i’ve done central park to soho in NYC before but that’s vacation. all i can say is i’m glad i didn’t go to the gym today.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 18th, 2008 at 12:46 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.