NEWLOVE

I don’t know what it is, but I hate the sound of broadcast sports. Whether on radio or television, I find that sound terribly annoying. You all know what I’m talking about. The ancient announcers in their orange made-up faces and tacky suits who talk incessantly about uninteresting drivel while waiting for the next big play to occur so they can whoop and holler and tell you some spectacular trivia morsel they’ve been saving for just the right moment.

These days, the networks place digital and animated “bugs” or “buttons” or whatever they’re called at the bottom of the screen to let you know about the program coming up next or to advertise for the sponsors or whatever. These buttons make some horrible noise as well - a swoosh, or an explosion, or a beepity beep beep.

There’s also the sound of the fans at the particular sports event being broadcast. All in all it’s a horrible cacophony of sounds that I am now daily subjected to since Brad has moved in.

But the worst part of it all is the sports fan watching/listening to the event. I swear that if I’m not home (or if he has forgotten that I’m home, or if he has forgotten about my existence altogether,) Brad would be sitting in front of the tv silently watching the game. But as soon as he notices I am within earshot, he has to stand up and clap, or shout out praise/admonishment to the players/coach, or mumble encouragement, “come on, come ON! You can DO IT!!! COME ON!!!” or “What are you DOING?!!” or the like. (FYI, Brad, they can’t hear you!)

What I don’t understand is he KNOWS I hate the sound of sports and sportscasters… what makes him think I want to be even more alerted to it going on? Each time he puts on sports (every afternoon) I sequester myself in the other room with either an ipod in my ears or the itunes on the computer blasting as loud as possible.

Is he trying to let me know that, even though he is aware of my hatred of the sports noise, he is enjoying his viewing experience and he is thankful that I’m allowing it to audibly invade our living space? Does he think that by being loud and boisterous that maybe his actions will encourage me to get loud and boisterous too? Does he think it will inspire me to watch the sports noise with him? Does he think that by hearing loud clapping and woo-HOOing that I’ll be momentarily confused about where I am and that maybe I’ll think I’m in a strip club and thereby take off all my clothes?

I don’t know. Anyone have any ideas?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 26th, 2006 at 3:10 pm and is filed under Brad. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.