NEWLOVE

I went to 4 events last night and was a little hung over this morning when I realized I’d given my number out to a really young guy, Eddie Jr., at the Cadillac party. (The photo at the right is of him, his dad and Jadakiss.) We were in line at the bathroom and instead of the awkwardness of saying no when he asked for my number, I gave it to him. He asked if he could call me sometime and I said, “Sure.” I figured he was never going to call me anyway so what’s the harm?!

So at 6pm today when I was driving away from the job I’d just quit, I had a million phone calls to make and was listening to my messages when call waiting beeped.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Catherine?”

“This is Kathleen.”

“Ahhh. Hey girl. Watcha doing?”

“I’m good. Who is this?”

“It’s Eddie Jr.”

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

“Hi Eddie! Did you have fun last night?”

“Yeah. I had a real good time. You?”

“I had so many parties last night! It was such a late night and I had a little too much to drink. What about you? Did you go anywhere else?”

“Nah, man. I got faded at the Cadillac party with my dad and that was it.”

“Oh. Well, I’m pretty surprised you called. Most people say they will but then they never do.”

“I’m not like that.”

“Obviously. But I didn’t know that.”

“You wanna go out sometime?”

“Oh my goodness. I was not aware that you wanted to go out when you asked for my number. Maybe that’s naïve of me. I can’t go out with you though. I’m married. But give me your email and I’ll get you on the guest list for different parties and we’ll hang out then. You’re obviously single, so I’ll hook you up with some of my girlfriends!”

Oh lord, you say. BUT WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?? So ladies, who’s ready to be fixed up??

I pretty much only make the effort to turn on the television twice during the week. Medium on Mondays and Lost on Wednesdays. I just can’t bring myself to deal with Thursdays. Alias. What a shame. Alias and I had a lot of good times together. We were so in love when we first started dating. Alias made me laugh, made me cry, inspired me. Now? Nothing.

You might think I should work harder, that I should give it another try… that I should forgive the fact that Alias was moved from Wednesdays to Thursdays. But I just can’t. I mean come on! They axed Agent Vaughn in the first episode this season. Are they trying to kill me?! I know Michael Vartan and Jennifer Garner broke up. (I blame the meddling Ben Affleck. Who gave him the right to get her to fall in love with him and ruin perfectly good television?! Maybe the competition hired him to do this damage so they could raise their ratings.) And I know the pregnant Garner plans to leave the show as well. But if she was leaving anyway, why couldn’t they kill her or put her in a coma or something and keep him on the show?!

No, the damage goes too deep. Therapy would not have helped. I mean, I gave it more than a second chance - I watched through to the end of the 3rd episode this season. It was pure torture!

But Medium is quite good. I recommend you all watch it. I especially like the writing and the relationship between Joe and Allison Dubois. Jake Weber and Patricia Arquette do a fantastic job. Check it out. Monday. 10pm. NBC.

I love giving gifts.  I love finding something in a store that screams out to me and is perfect for someone I know and love.  I love wrapping it all nice and I love the expression on the recipient’s face when it is in fact perfect and something he or she has always wanted.  I love giving surprise gifts.

The only trouble with the holiday season is that in order to buy gifts, one must shop.  And when I go shopping, I turn into what Brad likes to call The Ultimate Consumer. 

I’m great at spending money and accumulating stuff.  I start Christmas shopping in the summer so by the time December rolls around, I’ve half forgotten what I’ve already bought.  My little sister winds up sitting there on Christmas Eve with a mound of unopened packages from me in front of all of our family long after the rest of us have all opened our gifts.  We have to bring her the rest of the Christmas Duck and Pig as well as Gatorade and Power Bars for her to have enough strength to complete the task - it’s quite a sight.  We never have holiday left-overs to snack on.

So I’ve been Christmas shopping alot lately and do I really need to explain the feverish high pitched screams coming from a couple of pairs of Marc Jacobs shoes over in the corner?!  "We’re suede!  You love suede.  And we’re hot pink suede!"  My heart begins to melt a little. 

I can hear nothing but the plea of the orphaned shoes that need a good home.  The pair next to the pink suede and lavender alligator 4 inch heals chimes in, "We’re kelly green corduroy.  We have soft brown straps and cute copper details.  You need us.  You want us.  You must have us."  Now I’m totally transfixed liked a possessed zombie and I float over to the Marc Jacobs section like my clothes are made out of aluminum and the display is actually a huge high-powered magnet.

My efficient conscience starts to cry out, "Kathleen, you are here to Christmas shop FOR OTHER PEOPLE.  You are wasting precious time.  Must not deviate from the plan," and as I get closer and closer to the Marc Jacobs display, "Error.  Error.  Error."

I try to break away from my hypnotic trance but those shoe salesmen know me and are all accosting me, trying to keep their wares in my line of sight.  I was just in there on Monday buying a pair of gold strappy Dolce & Gabbana sandals for my sister’s Christmas gift.  (If any of you tell her, I’ll kill you.  You know how much I love giving surprises.)  They know I can’t pass by a good deal or a hot shoe.  Damn them.

A salesman named Herman sees the magnetic quality of the hot pink suede.  He sees me try to walk away but getting sucked back over.  So he comes over to me and grabs the display shoe out of my hand and says, "You’re a woman who knows what you want.  I see you keep coming back to this pair.  I’m going to get it in a size 9.  I’ll be right back."

"Oh no!" I think.  "I’m not here to buy shoes!  I’m in a hurry!  I don’t have time for this!"  And so I reply, "I’m a size 7 and a half or a size 8.  And can you bring me these green ones as well?"  He apologized for essentially calling me Bigfoot and disappeared into the mist of the stockroom.  I mean, I know I’m tall but I have deceptively small feet.

Five minutes and two pairs of new Marc Jacobs shoes later, I flee the store and decide to leave before my Christmas shopping goes even more overboard.

Today, in between different apartment showings, I cruise the internet.  I visit some of my favorite places - Bluefly, Neiman’s, Saks, Barneys, Macy’s, etc. and guess what I’m currently obsessed with?

Move over coffee, here comes Manolo!

If you’ve read any of my earlier blogs (Rubber Tarantula, etc.) you’ll know that I sometimes frighten Brad unintentionally. And seriously, although his clutching at his heart and the faces he makes are priceless, I never really mean for it to happen. (Although that one time…)

Last night I was really tired and shortly after arriving at Brad’s I fell asleep (around 9pm - old man Brad style.) When he finally came home around 11pm after his event was over (Doris Roberts’ birthday party) he saw my car parked outside his house and knew I was there.

As he approached his front door, he noticed there were no lights or television on. So he conjured up some strange notion that I was in there waiting for him in the dark, ready to pounce. He figured he’d beat me to the punch and he stealthily unlocked his front door and turned on the lights, “A-Ha!”

I’m sure he had some elaborate scene in his mind wherein he’d beat me at my own game - that he would give me the heart attack he normally receives when I come around the corner at any given time of the day.

Expecting to find me lurking in the shadows ready to jump out at him, he was disappointed to see me lying in his bed, fast asleep and FREEZING.

Foiled again, Brad. Foiled again.

I WIN!!

I have been a movie going FIEND lately. I am almost as obsessed with movies as I am with coffee. Here’s a quick run-down.

Brokeback Mountain - great
Jarhead - dick flick (I was expecting alot and was disappointed.)
In Her Shoes - chick flick
Prime - loved it
Domino - loved it
Finding Neverland - loved it! (I know I’m a little late on this one.)
Kingdom Of Heaven - loved it
Crash - great
The Constant Gardener - good
Fierce People - good
Where The Truth Lies - good
The Prize Winner Of Defiance Ohio - good
North Country - good
Red Eye - surpisingly good
40 Year Old Virgin - funny
Mad Hot Ballroom - cute
June Bug - huh?

I’m seeing Rent and Bee Season next week. That’s one of the great things about living in LA. You get to see movies waaaaayyyy before anyone else. I’m also dying to see Walk The Line, Memoirs Of A Geisha, Derailed, Chicken Little, and Syriana.

Lately I’ve bought a crapload of dvds lately and am making my way through them. I know you all find this faaaaaaaaascinating, so be sure to check back.

Since when does your freedom of speech have the right to infringe on my civil liberties?

I left the office at 6:30 to meet Celeste and Michelle to see Jarhead about a mile away. At 7:00pm, I found myself a block from the theater because apparently thousands of people had decided to protest up and down Wilshire and Westwood Boulevards. I don’t even have any idea what they were protesting! Maybe it’ll be in the papers tomorrow. I’ll ask my boyfriend - he’s a news & media fanatic.

Almost all of the already overcrowded streets in Westwood were closed off and there were police everywhere. I was ridiculous. I didn’t make it to the theater until 7:30!! Thank goodness it was a screening and they didn’t start until I got there. They obviously knew who I am. Kathleen Newlove - coming through!

By the way - I was not overly impressed with the movie. Maybe I was expecting too much. Maybe it’s just a dick flick. I don’t know.

At 10:30am today, I was at work just doing my thing. All of a sudden I hear fucking this and fucking that and God damn it and shit piss cocksucker motherfucker, etc. coming from the alley behind the building. I look out the window and see the strangest site. A rowdy homeless teaparty slash barbeque. Take a look. I hate West LA - too many riff raff.