NEWLOVE

It’s interesting how we all have certain routines. No matter what job one holds, one always has a certain way of doing it. Whether you’re working on Wall Street or at McDonalds, it’s safe to assume that you’ve got some experience in your daily routine and that you know what you’re doing and how to do it at least somewhat efficiently.

I’m currently leasing luxury apartments and when I have a potential tenant walk into my office I invite them to sit down, have a glass of water and I ask them to fill out a very brief form (an index card) that provides me with mundane but usefull information that will help me determine what type of apartment to show. They basically have to write down their name, address and phone number as well as when they’re hoping to move in, how many bedrooms they want, their price range, whether or not they have pets & what kind, how they heard about the building (referral, drive-by, internet, or other advertising) and any special needs.

Most people just fill it out and then I show them a unit that matches their needs. But often enough, I’ll get “Why do I have to fill this out?” or “I don’t have to fill this all out, you just need my name, right?” or most annoyingly, “I don’t want to fill that out. I just want to see an apartment.”

There’s a routine people! Just follow the rules! You want me to show you an apartment?! Then fill out the damned form! It’s simple. Would I hand you a form and ask you to fill it out if I only needed your name?!

Just like I won’t lease you an apartment if you don’t pay me what I ask, I won’t show you one if you don’t fill out the form!

You think I enjoy wasting my time? You think I want to spend a half an hour leading you around from unit to unit in the summer SoCal heat to sit down and find out at the end of it all that you have a dog (we don’t take dogs) or that you’re not moving until next January (the units I showed you won’t be available anymore) or that you don’t want to spend more than $900 a month (our least expensive unit goes for approximately $1600) or that you want a 6 month lease (we don’t do less than a year)??!!! Do YOU enjoy wasting not only my time but your own?!

Jesus.

Then, when I’m walking with you from my office through the lobby at the beginning of the tour, why are you going to ask me if the apartments have walk-in closets?! Are we not on a tour? Are we not going to see an apartment in a minute and a half? Will you not be able to see a walk-in closet (or lack thereof) with your own eyeballs in just a moment? Is it really that important to interrupt my spiel for such a retarded question? Meanwhile, if you’d just shut up, you might learn the answers to all the questions that you may have if you would listen the the plethora of information I’m spewing as we walk.

I work on commission. Don’t you think if you ask me any questions AT THE END OF THE TOUR that I’ll happily answer each and every one of them?? At the end of the tour you will have seen the lap pool, the fitness center, the jacuzzi, the saunas, the parking garage, the amazing kitchen space, etc. You will not need to ask me if there are granite counter tops or washers & driers in every unit because you will have already freaking seen them!

It’s like going to McDonalds and asking them if they have french fries. Is there not a menu glowing at you from behind the pimply cashier?! READ IT!

I have this one tenant who came barging into my office one day. He interrupted the meeting I was in without an “Excuse me,” a “Hello,” or even an acknowledgement to the people sitting across my desk from me who were mid-sentence when he roared, “I got dropped off this morning and my friend drove away before I got to the elevator!”

He paused for awhile and it seemed like I was supposed to say something but I didn’t know what he was talking about yet or why he was talking to me at all. So I said, “Can I help you?” I should’ve said, “I’m sorry. I’m in the middle of something right now. I’ll be with you in a moment.” But I was so taken aback that I wasn’t thinking straight. (Actually I should have told him to go to hell. Hey, maybe he’s just looking for a little abuse or something.)

He continues, “I’m standing there at the elevator and what am I supposed to do?”

“Okay. Is there something I can help you with?” I ask as sweetly as possible.

“Yeah. What kind of operation are you running here?”

“Excuse me?”

“This is supposed to be a brand new building!”

“It is. Is there something you need from me?”

“I’m standing at the elevator and my friend had already left!”

“So what is it I can do for you?”

“I can’t believe this!”

Then he continues ranting and raving at a moderately high decible level for two to three minutes and I discern that the elevator in question must have been either broken, held open for someone moving on a higher floor, or shut down while the repairmen were tweaking something. He was obviously frustrated that for whatever reason, the elevator wasn’t coming to him while he was standing there calling it.

At this point, I’m annoyed because he’s an irritating old man, he’s rude and he has yet to state why he’s there interrupting my meeting with his latest “emergency” while he’s not explaining what this “emergency” even is. So, being a stubborn bitch I repeat, “Is there something I can help you with?”

I’m a freaking leasing agent. I lease apartments. Do you need to lease another apartment in this building or do you have questions about your current lease? NO! Then what are you doing in my office? Do you think I am here to be your shrink and listen to you vent about your trials and tribulations? If so, you are sooooooooorely mistaken.

Do I look like an elevator repairman?! If you notice a problem with something in the building you can drop me or the apartment manager a line with an “FYI, elevator #3 might be broken because I tried calling it this morning and it never came.”

What is wrong with people?! Why don’t we try c.o.m.m.u.n.i.c.a.t.i.n.g.! Learn how to express yourself efficiently!

Sheesh.

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 31st, 2005 at 11:24 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.